New Jersey - haaaaate!

[tamarinne]

My brother is wed (weird, weird)... but that's not what I'm here to write about about.

New Jersey, as far as I'm concerned, can kiss my ass. After autoclaving it's mouth first.

The problem with New Jersey, I think, is that it knows that nobody ever actually wants to go to New Jersey... they're just passing through New Jersey on their way to somewhere good. Consequently, New Jersey is resentful and pissy and takes it out on everyone. The proof:

1. Full service gas. What the hell???? I'll pump my own damn gas, thank you. And where's the rest of my change? What, I'm supposed to TIP you for swabbing the windshield? Back away from my car, punk... just back away...

2. Jersey barriers. I finally understand why they call them that - the entire damn state is CONSTRUCTED of Jersey barriers. I swear I saw a few buildings and possibly even a car made of Jersey barriers.

3. New Jersey Parkway? Garden State Parkway? Garden State Tollway? Stop using all these damn names that aren't in my atlas!!!! Use numbers like a decent highway!!! (note - OK, I know coming from Chicago I don't really have the moral high ground here... 94, after all, changes names four times as it passes through Chicago. STILL, at least when you're driving on it they tell you the number of the road so that you can cross-reference it to your atlas when you get lost!!!)

4. WHAT. IS. THAT. SMELL?!?!!

5. Crabby drivers! White vans that cut you off! Construction everywhere!!!!

6. Oh, and screw you very much, Mapquest. Highway 17 don't play that way.

I do like the names, though.. Paramus! Hackensack! Mahwah! (what is that, an indian word? a settler with a bad lisp? I give up!)


But yeah. I'm in New York, now, and I've had some ice cream and am feeling much better. (Although... Montebello, New York? Buy some street signs. I'm not saying... I'm just saying.)

Comments

[herooftheage.livejournal.com]

So in Meredith's Grand Theft Auto Boston game, she's proposed that the roads, particularly around the Central Artery, change position and direction on a random basis. If you stay on 93 or 95, and just pass through, I suspect you'll be all right, but who knows?

[vaudvillain.livejournal.com]

I have fond memories of the Garden State Parkway...and speaking of the joy of driving in the Garden State, how do you like all them jughandles?

I've always been tickled by the Ben Franklin Bridge between Philadelphia and New Jersey. There's no toll when you are crossing from PA into NJ. But you've gotta pay if you want to get back out.

[gsh]

Actually Jersey barriers are called that because the guy who invented them worked for the NJ Turnpike. He got rich off the patent.

isn't technology GRAND

[carneggy.livejournal.com]

I do like the names, though.. Paramus! Hackensack! Mahwah! (what is that, an indian word? a settler with a bad lisp? I give up!)

Found on the intarweb:

"Mahwah was an early Indian name for an area in the Ramapo Valley. The name Mahwah is an Indian word supposedly meaning "smiling fields" or "a meeting place," given to an Indian field in the vicinity. Early names for the area also included Ramapo or Ramapough, and Hopper's."

And then the town was incorporated as "Hohokus Township", then had its name changed to Oweno, then Mahwah.